ILTG

I Love This Game, Ch. 1

Braunfar in the garden – the family – a photograph – a girl – desire   

 “Smile, Braunfar!”

Jaqueline dropped the sixty-four megapixel camera smartphone, the sly gift of an occupied husband, to her side.  For her daughter’s wedding, then affianced Braunfar, still under scrutiny for signs of lingering independence or other dangers in a potential husband, had suggested that the pocked-marked boy with glasses from down the street take all the photos.    Jacqueline had agreed, an act of kindness, she told herself, to pay him three-hundred dollars, under the table, for two hours of pushing a button.

Now that she knew better, Jacqueline might pay him the same figure again, and only to get this single photograph right.  That kid-famous now, having sold several photos of unusually tall Ghanan women to National Geographic- was useless then; now a print of the tribal beauties was in hallway of her daughter’s house.  Jacqueline didn’t like it.  What was his name?  Max?  Murdoch?   Certainly not anything as dignified as, “Braunfar DeManley. Please smile.”

Jacqueline was not the kind of person to use a question mark, as you might guess from her emaciated, post-menopausal marathoner’s body and lacquer eyes, now burning almost fertile. Her hair had been cropped, and splayed severely, almost as if it were the headgear of some strange Order of Ambition – it’s odd how our interior nature is all we have in our dotage. So indeed, this photo was happening, Murray or Maxwell or Mulder or Mathews or whatnot.

“Let’s do this!”  Jacqueline made up for her imbalance in verbal punctuation with exclamation points.

The DeManley family was, to be fair to its matriarch pantokrator, hard to capture in one shot.  With its very mobile members on a single spot of the earth for once, Jacqueline was not about to let the last obstacle to a modest group portrait on the one perfect Seattle day be left overcome.

Dexter the dog was splayed at Braunfar’s sandaled feet.  His grey Schnauzer’s coat, always his best asset, was revealed to be a little worn in the surprising light; he was as old as the marriage.  Tessa, Jacqueline’s impossibly slender and private daughter, a bright, black-haired, green-eyed thirty-year old with an expression of the sweetest myopia, was tucked under his right arm, pried away from picking at weeds in the lettuce bed.

Tessa had long since learned to consign only a fraction of her daily energy to pleasing her mother.  It was worth every exertion, as failure was a catastrophic and lingering reconciliation of emails, phone calls, tears, and lunches.

Chester, the smooth coated calico sat satisfied on the picnic table, warmed himself in the tranquil May sun.  Unknown to all, he was in fact smiling, and further, wanted to be in the picture.  He dangled a paw and gave Jacqueline his best indifference. The best and most natural poker player in the household, Chester.

It’s not that Braunfar can’t smile, or like the usual only modestly self-important American male, his life a plains breeze of pragmatic morality, reasonable expectations, and fiduciary responsibility. Braunf is in the midst of an anti-climatic kerfuffle with an in-law who is looking at the wrong side of the coin.

Braunfar the human being, not the lifetime probationary husband, is a realist. Unegotistical. Placid.  He made peace with Jacqueline the moment he saw her, wisely, sanely, efficiently.  “Well, I’m not marrying her, after all,” he had explained to Tessa in the days when she was still miffed at the lack of trouble her mother caused him. Alas for no conflict, no rub. Where Tessa has spent her whole youth first trying to attain, (she in fact found it three days before the marriage, and lost it the day before), and now reject, the enormous importance of her mother’s serenity of love and judgement, Braunfar solved the problem with a smile.  “Happy to meet you, Mrs. Leah.” Of course Jacqueline had expected that, and was deeply in love with Braunfar’s general operability in a world she battled with, but the sting her daughter expected to hear from a future husband a tone more akin to, say, “What seems to be the problem, officer?”  You know, caught.

No. Braunfar, who was a lot more handsome than Jacqueline had expected – more than her daughter was pretty (mothers, even Jacqueline, always know exactly where these things stand) – didn’t blink and just smiled.  Actually, if he had not blinked, she would have known, felt some fear, and he would have been thenceforth hers forever, a new family member not unlike all the other ones in her imaginary matriarchy.  But the boyfriend did blink, and smiled.  “I’m Braunfar.” That same smile she wanted now, even if she would like to change it to a deferential pleasantness: sincerity was not something Jacqueline relished in a man.

Braunfar’s actual expression was one that was completely natural but gave the impression of slight exaggeration.  Lipstick on a smile, she thought – Jacqueline didn’t really have even this much of a way with words – but you know what she means.  She put the phone back to her face, hoping for some sort of habitual response that she thought she could create; gestures made sense to her above all: little signs of what shouldn’t be said.  (Her own sage husband knew this well, and you might wonder how he got to be on the golf course today, no doubt with a wide, irrepressibly natural grin.) So: no. Braunfar just wasn’t smiling right now.

Yet how could he not be happy, with the most adorable baby girl, a true peach, the fuzz on her head as warm as her infant’s happiness, squirming lightly under his other arm?  Arriving later in the marriage than many more anticipated and perhaps less beloved babies, the DeManley daughter, named Tangerine (there was no christening even considered for this happy pagan couple).  Arriving as late as this beautiful summer day, all the more appreciated for it and all the more treasured.  Named for a late Zeppelin song that Braunfar and Tessa playing from the radio while star gazing from the back of a ’78 Ford, Tangerine was, to mix fruit, the apple of her parents’ eyes.  She was already outgoing and charming, a preternatural flirt, with a rich momma and great-lookin’ daddy.  When Tangerine learns to walk, the world and its inhabitants will be at her feet.

However, despite her hopelessly lovely bright brown eyes and million-dollar personality, daddy is still not smiling.

There are a lot of quacks and pop psychologist-types out there, who can tell you that a cake longs to rise and mattress lays flat in waiting; and they would have some good fodder with the DeManleys.  I only bring this up to reassure you that, while Braunfar and Tessa are going through real changes, the kind adults must deal with, most often with no help but from the dim polar star of their own conscience, he is not troubled by these truths.  While the bundle of parental delight grows, the DeManley couple grows older.  The organisms settle and age. However, it’s no mystery to him: Braunfar is wily and perceptive. He has noticed something- is it just him who seems to love Tangerine a little too much?  Why are they so focused on their daughter?  Why do they make dates to make love, as if they are going to the church to be reminded of what they believe in?  And what will Braunfar do when Tangerine is a little older and seeking out a nice Banana to play with? Why does he sometime think about files and documents and janitors when he walks into his living room?

The truth is, Braunfar knows these late night worries better than you or any of the quacks do, and on a Seattle’s first summer day, he normally would know to enjoy it.  Life is fleeting; he’ll tell it to you.  He’s big on rational choices. Find a quality of life and keep to it.  No man of morosity, Braunfar.  He’s no scab picker, no cultist of emotional repetition.  Introspection itself is useful or it isn’t, and in fact needs to be curtailed in favor of action. Solid (supposedly) middle class (although who really says that anymore with a straight face) thoughts, the kind that more people need, the kind that make the world go round and make him and his family a happy part of it.

It’s the bad you, before your coffee, the professional head mongerer, who is concerned with this layer of the DeManley life.  You’ll wonder what transpired in the early years of the DeManley marriage, you’ll be convinced Tessa gave him a wrong look or he heard a bad word said against him, that the mirror was warped enough to convince him to seek solace in some murky place.  Fear not.

Braunfar isn’t smiling because he is distracted.  A thought has hit him, as thoughts come to all of us, which took him down a path.  The truth is, he hasn’t heard a word Jacqueline has said, commanded, or implored.  At this moment, Grand Coincidence.

Thought.

The boy with all the acne and the camera is walking past, following, leading, and circling a tall girl who listens to him politely.  But he’s no longer a boy. He might even be twenty eight. Murdoch (Braunfar never forgets a name) is raving about shutters, and a lens in particular, that in combination with certain software, will allow him to take a three hundred and sixty degree continuous photo of the city.  It will look great in his apartment. Say no more. Braunfar, adept at situations, games and an aspiring card sharp, guesses at the situation.   The photographer is back home, taking this girl to his parents, but they haven’t been to together long.  He’s successful; that Patagonia windbreaker is the cost of a new suit.  He bought it because he’s independent and catches a lot of wind, apparently. (Braunfar really has no interest in him and is a bit of a mocker.)

The girl, however…  This girl is gorgeous, a tad out of even Braunfar’s league normally, (which is a whole other subject). Snotty little Murdoch must be beside himself.  The two met at an exhibition, or they were set up.  She’s giving it a chance.  She’s long and lithe, with cheekbones and a slightly open mouth, black hair and a figure.  She’s not a girl at all, Braunfar should know, she’s a woman. She’s familiar to him, somehow, and Braunfar knows she’ll listen but doesn’t respond unless it’s interesting. She’ll keep to herself but have no shame when she doesn’t. She’s not unlike the type Braunfar would regularly bed in college.  The kind of girl, no, woman, (she began to become closer to his age) who likes bad politics, good movies, and two bottles of wine.

While Murdoch leads her away, Murdoch’s young woman turns to catch the family scene; Jacqueline’s voice, the thin sound of aging irrelevance, has caught some unborn and unnecessary part of her mind she will not need anytime soon.  After all, this beauty has no idea what goes on in some family’s garden or why they are all grouped on a picnic table.  She doesn’t even think about family much; she has three brothers and the idea of corralling a bunch of her offspring is about as seductive as a conversation about camera parts.  However, she grew up in Boston, poor as dirt, and every December her divorced father would take her to Beacon Hill.  They’d walk up the snowy cobblestones under ornate lamplights until he found the right scene.  Dad would lift her up onto his shoulders, and give her the best view of the beautiful Christmas trees in the windows, tall and perfect, genetically selected for the Brahmins.  The sashes of silver and the globes of gold hung from the pert branches were the season itself.  She’d stare in awe, as Dad took them from one window to the next.  At the end of the walk, with a tear in his eye that she never noticed until this very moment, as memories and reality met, he’d tell her one day they’d have a tree just like that.  She loved the trees so much, this walk was always the best part of Christmas, and she never minded or even thought about his self-recrimination and profession of better Noel props.  It was perfection, and this little family, she thought, looked perfect, and she smiled as the husband locked eyes on her. Off to dinner with the photographer, who led her with one sweaty, overgripped paw.

Braunfar at first thought he was amused.  Off to dinner, he thought, but not much after that…  Murdoch was a good kid; maybe I should look him up.  Talk about that photo.  Get an introduction.  Not that I’d do anything.  They aren’t working, so maybe.  Hah.  The truth is that Braunfar was no narcissist.  The girl was merely a vision.  She might as well been a photograph Murdoch dropped off for the foyer.  A distraction.

But Braunfar was distracted.  You don’t usually smile when you are deeply distracted. People are mad at you, they think you aren’t paying attention to the important matter at hand, smiling or nodding, showing them their importance. That’s what Jacqueline needs, of course. But no, when you are distracted, you are thinking much too deeply.

Dexter barked solemnly and unwittingly; a pack of wolves howled somewhere in the past and a tire iron struck the thin plate of a decorative rim, tuning it on a low E.  (Tessa had never seen Braunfar off to war; she may not have heard the private bugle.)  Braunfar, well, he almost said his own name aloud. He could not imagine it or accept it if you told his subconscious at this moment, but in fact he would never see the girl, the woman, the vision again. Unimportant. Braunfar was awake and roused. The sun warmed his family, the house gave them shelter, the garden nourishment.  Years of labor made this possible; a man provides, but he does not cease to be a man.  Braunfar longed the return to action, the quest for some challenge and the hero’s reward.  The reward. The love of a maiden, or as we might say in our vulgar way, a sweet young thing, eager to love, whose nipples haven’t lactated, whose breasts haven’t shrunk, whose hair is careless and glossy and rich, whose hips and thighs are supple with the soft layer of fat they’ll only much, much later need but for now is irresistibly smooth and outrageously inviting, her ass soft and firm and just big enough to exceed a man’s grasp but not too big to be completely ensconced in it, impossible to contain and so she must be handled from all sorts of angles, appreciated, examined, enjoyed like a meal that won’t end yet is taken away if you don’t eat it.

Yet Braunfar refuses this story that you, the reader, want. (As I said, he is a pragmatist. A rational man, much more so than you.)  You see, Braunfar would even surrender that satisfaction, for he does not want to leave his life or start a subterranean system of evasions. What Braunfar wants (he knows this because it’s been mounting in him) is a reprieve, a brief day in the sun and under the moon with a black haired beauty because, because, because he is simply buried in a backlog of all the good things that have ever happened to him, completely buried by every plate, book, table, chair, couch, lamp, bottle, candle, speaker, painting, paper, board, game, ski pole, tennis racquet, guitar, not to mention the plans for more funereal accoutrements: shopping list, grocery list, list of chores, duties, investments, parenting books, the unknown direction his life is taking, he wants all of it ripped away, torn into, just once, to be bled briefly, the veil lifted, the ice cracked so that he can breathe one last time.  He wants a girl to get on her knees and tear all the built up wildness of a perfect life, and with pubic hair stuck in her teeth, suce out from his brave and lively manhood his biological purpose.

A real blowjob. The kind that only a post-virginal, pre-marital twenty six year old can give.  Sloppy. Satisfying.  No, not satisfying: satiating. He wanted to feel it expand his spine and ring his ears. He wanted his entire body and every organ to be erect, like the statue of a roman satyr, and then his entire body and every organ to be feel empty and flaccid, like a lion at rest upon the grass he owns in the most primitive and only true way.  The kind with the blowing (they’ve even forgotten what the word means) at the end (who does that anymore? What a horrible century).   Really tear into him, he wants, just once, for his sake, for the sake of his sanity, and therefore his life, his marriage, his family, his child, for everything he holds dear but has lost his grip on, for all the hours he does nothing for himself (except replace this wish), for everything, this is the answer, one time-

“Yes,” cried Jacqueline.  “What a smile!”

Electronic clicking sound.  “Terrific,” says Jacqueline.  “Do you know that couple?  Not a good match.

“Well you can stop smiling now, Braunfar!”

 

Note to my readers: I am resurrecting this story in order to see where it goes – somewhere, anywhere, nowhere. I Love This Game is a poker novel I abandoned, and will now share as a sort of serial draft. Let’s see what happens and what ideas you have for it.

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The OOP Lexicon is a user-developed poker glossary.

Absolute Position
Being last to act (e.g. closest to the button) postflop.

Advancing Leverage
Aggressive actions intended to shift the leverage point closer to the current street.

Analog
A bluff or value hand which is a natural candidate for balancing another hand because of their shared qualities, such as AA and AK; usually helps planning range splitting and line construction.

Auto profit threshold (APT)
A bluff made with positive expectation resulting from the opponent under defending vis-a-vis bet sizing. The inverse of MDF.

Balance
Choosing to support either value bets or bluffs with their converse.

Bet
A bet is a proposition.  It’s the first offer on the pot with regard to the outcome of the game. Each player, in turn, has the opportunity to lay or change the price on the pot to the rest of the players. “The language of poker.” The bet, as opposed to the raise, is most often and most easily allied to the merged pricing construction.

Block
To remove combinations of hands from a range based on cards in your hand or on the board.

Blockers
Cards which influence our combinatorial assumptions. Ex: We face resistance on T76ss while we hold As7d. Both our cards act as blockers. Our ace of spades blocks (limits) a number of flush draws our opponent could hold, while our seven blocks a number of two pair and sets our opponent could hold. *See also Block and Unblock

Blocker Bet
A small bet made by an out-of-position player.

Board Texture
The available community cards and the set of conditions which inform its relationship to a logical range.

Bottom
The worst hands in a betting range.  Depending on context this could be the worst hand in a value bet range or the bluffing section of polarized range.

Bounded
A range descriptor indicating a range shape with a specific high or low boundary.  A range bounded high won't contain some number of the best linear hands ranked from the top down.  This is equivalent to a "capped" range.  A range bounded low won't contain some number of the worst linear hands ranked from the bottom up.  This is often useful to describe a range that doesn't include any air or very weak hands.

Capitalization
A strategic mode in which a player is attempting to deny their opponent(s) equity share of the pot through aggression. Often referred to as “denying equity” or “buying up equity”.

Capped
A range is capped when it represents little to no nutted combinations as confirmed by prior action.

Cbet
A continuation bet. A bet made by the player with initiative as a continuation of their initiative on a prior street.

Clarity
The ability to accurately range an opponent based on all available information at a decision point.  An understanding of your hands exact equity.

Closing Action
Acting last where no subsequent action is possible behind you.  For example calling a UTG raise in the BB or calling in position postflop with no players behind.

Cold Call/Cold Bet
An action is considered “cold” when it comes from a player entering into the pot has not previously put chips voluntarily in the pot. Ex: the UTG opens, the BTN 3bets. If the SB were to call or raise, it would be a cold-call or a cold-4bet.

Combinatorics
The branch of mathematics the deals with finite number sets. Used in poker in determining the amount of combinations of certain hands in a range.

Complete
When a blind that is not the biggest blind calls the amount of the biggest blind. Ex: At $2/$5, action folds around to the SB and the SB completes. Meaning they just call. The BB can complete when there is a straddle.

Condensed
A capped range that contains only middling value hands. A range without the polarized portion.

Construction
Logical advancement of combinations across streets.

Dark Side of the Deck
The large swath of hands, often off-suit, that fall outside of conventional playable recommendations. Counter-equity hands.

Dead Money
Money in the pot that is not being fought for.  A passive player creates dead money when they call a bet preflop and looking to play fit-or-fold postflop. Dead Money is often confused with the money in the pot.

Delayed Cbet
A cbet made on the turn by the preflop raiser when the flop checked through.

Delaying Leverage
Passive actions intended to maintain a likely late street leverage point, or possibly to avoid a leverage point entirely.

Deviation
A strategic break from one’s standard construction as an exploit of a particular player’s profile or construction.

Diminishing Medium Value Category
A Seidman concept in which when one’s middling value hand range is too small and transparent to our opponent and thus either that range should be shifted into the top of a polarized range or the nutted portion should be shifted into the medium value range. Ex: AQo or TT being 3bet preflop.

Downbet
A cbet that is less than the preflop raise. Ex: BTN opens to $25, we 3bet to $90 from the SB, BTN calls. On the flop we cbet $70.

Dry Board
A board texture that yields relatively few logical hands value. Often containing one medium or high card and disconnected low cards. Ex: Q53r, T622r.

Dual Mentalities
A Seidman concept in which when we decide to go postflop with a weak hand against a nutted range, we should either be looking to out flop it or steal the pot away. We base our decision against the player type we are up against and never go post with both mentalities at once.

Dynamic Board
A flop texture in which the runout is very likely to change the order of top ranking hands. Ex: 954tt, 742r.

Effective Stack
The smallest stack to VPIP in a given hand. Their stack decides the amount of money that can be played for or threatened before an all-in.

Effective nuts
A value hand that can be played for stacks as if it were the actual nuts.  This is a relative hand ranking based on range assumptions and opponent type.

Efficiency
A measure of how well the equity of a hand is deployed. Efficiency can also be used as a measure of what is risked vs what is gained for a given bet size.

Either/Or Philosophy
A Seidman concept in which a particular street can be a very good spot for value, meaning our opponent is never folding, or a very good spot to bluff, meaning our opponent is never calling, but that those spots cannot be concurrent.

Elasticity
Borrowed from economics, a measure of the sensitivity of a range or hand relative to the price offered.  Ranges (or hands) described as elastic will narrow, sometimes quickly, in response to increases in price.  Those described as inelastic will not.

Equity
The percent pot share of a holding or range on any given street if the hand were to go to showdown with no further betting action.

Equity Pusher
A analytic approach to the game in which a player views the correct actions only through the lens of their hands equity vs. their opponent’s range. Often this player type has a lack of understanding of overall strategy and plays their range face up with few bluffs.

Expected Value
The mathematical formula for how much a player’s action is expected to make with their hand vs. their opponent’s range. EV = ($towin * %ofwin) - ($tolose * %ofloss)

Face Up
A player is playing their range “face up” when their actions directly correspond with their desired outcome. Ex: A player bets half-pot three streets with a range that has no bluffs. A player 3bets to 7x with JJ.

False Polarization
Otherwise known as Faux-Po; a polarizing action taken with a merged range.

Felted
The result of losing your entire table stakes. All the way down to the felt.

Float
A call of a cbet with a weak holding with the likely intention of taking the pot away when the opponent shuts down. Often done by an in position preflop caller.

Formation
The convergence of positions, stack depths, and preceding actions at a given decision point.

G-Bucks
A mathematical formula developed by Phil Galfond for calculating the expected value of one’s range construction vs. an opponent’s holding.

GIGO
A computer programming term that means "garbage in, garbage out" which also applies to poker forums when a poster seeks an in-depth conversation about a hand, but fail to provide pertinent information such as stack sizes, bets sizes, table dynamics and player tendencies.

Game Theory
The applied science of combining mathematical models with logic to craft winning poker strategies.

Game Theory Optimal
A set of strategies is GTO if no player can unilaterally deviate and increase his average profit. ~ Will Tipton.  GTO does not mean best possible response, highest EV, or maximally exploitative play.

Implied Odds
Additional value likely to be accrued if you make your hand on a later street.

Initiative
Sometimes referred to as the betting lead, a common situation in which the passive player yields to the aggressive player postflop, or the last aggressor continues betting on subsequent streets.

Isolate
A bet or raise intended to force out the rest of the field in order to play heads up against a weaker opponent who has entered the pot through limping, raising, or posting the blinds.

LAG
Loose aggressive player type. Generally overused and inaccurate.

Lead
A bet made from out of position after a passive action. Often referred to as a donk bet on the flop.

Leveling
He knows that I know that he knows I know.

Leverage
A bet or raise that signals the hand will be played for stacks.  Within reason, it is accomplished by betting with a sizing that will create RSP equal to 1 on the following street.

LFI
Limp First In

Linear
A consecutive range of hands decreasing in strength from top to bottom; generally meaning value hands. Equivalent to "merged."

Lockdown Board
A board on which the nuts have often already been made.  More prevalent in PLO but sometimes useful in no-limit, for example on monotone flops and boards with available common straights e.g. JT9, T98, 987, etc.

Merge
1) A range of hands that includes both strong and medium value; 2) in reference to medium value; 3) the merged construction describes the natural representation of a wide range through a bet.

Mini Stop-N-Go
A Seidman concept, a line taken by a OOP PFR where flop is check/called and turn is lead.

Minimum Defense Frequency (MDF)
The necessary defending (calling/raising) frequency to prevent an opponent from auto-profiting.  The inverse of APT.

Natural Action
A check, bet, or raise which is exactly suited to a player's range and situation (e.g. a pfr's continuation bet on AK2r).

Nit
A player who will not put chips into the pot without a very strong and sometimes only nutted hand.

Nuts
The best possible hand.

Nuts-To-Air Ratio (NAR)
In a polarized betting line, the ratio of value to bluff.  As used by Seidman, not limited to polarization but sometimes used to label general opponent tendency of value to bluff.

OMC
Old Man Coffee. Typically an older, retired player that likes to play bingo with ATC, but will only continue with the nuts.

Open
The first voluntary action. The first action or bet to voluntarily enter the pot.

Overbet
A bet that is more than the size of the pot.

Perceived Range
Refers to the range of hands that your opponent thinks you could have in a certain playing situation. This can be interpreted and thus misinterpreted from your playing style and position at the table.

Polarized
A range consisting of very strong and very weak hands.

Post Oak Bluff
A small bluff on a late street that has little chance of winning the pot.  Generally interpreted as “gutless” in the past but now fulfilling certain functions as betting efficiencies are understood.

Positional Protection
When the strength of a range is perceived to be capped or uncapped based on which position an action is taken from.

Protected
When an action or player is perceived to have strong hands in its range.

Protection Bet
A wager which denies equity to hands which will only give action if they significantly improve; "a value bet which does not want a call."

Raise
The rejection of the offered price and the laying of a new higher price.  Raises represent a more narrow range of hands and trend towards polarization.

Range Advantage
Implementation or study tool that refers to 1) most basically, equity measurement of one range against another; 2) or also including a combination of further factors including availability of nutted hands, the nuances of the runout, and positional protection.

Range Manipulation
Deliberate line work/bet sizing made to narrow a range or keep a range wide.

Range Switch
A deliberate change in range composition made to thwart a player who is reading our range too accurately in any spot.  Reduces transparency, fights assumptions, and wins the leveling war if implemented correctly.

Ratio of Stack To Pot
RSP. The stack to pot ratio at any point in a hand, generally used post-flop as opposed to Stack to Pot Ratio.

Realization
Taking a hand to showdown and realizing its full equity.  Generally used with regard to passive actions.

Reciprocity
The mutual exchange of chips resulting from similar play and ideas.  Reciprocity is a common bi-product of group-think.  A true edge by definition cannot be reciprocal.

Relative Position
A player’s position measured against the aggressor's position.  Generally this is used going to the flop.  For example, if UTG raises and several players call behind, calling in the big blind would give you the best relative position.  You will act after seeing how the field responds to a likely continuation from the preflop aggressor.  In the same scenario calling immediately after the preflop aggressor results in the worst relative position.  You will have to act immediately after a continuation without seeing how the remaining players will respond.  Strong relative position confers an information edge.

Retention
The ability of hand to maintain equity across streets against a betting range or as part of a betting range.

Reverse Implied Odds (RIO)
Hands that often win small pots or lose large pots suffer from reverse implied odds.

Robustness
Popularized by Mathew Janda, a descriptor for how well a hand retains equity over streets of play.  Hands described as robust have equity that does not suffer as an opponent's range becomes stronger.  Often these hands are currently both strong and invulnerable, or have the ability to become very strong by the river, relative to the opponent's range.

Runout
Fourth and Fifth Street cards following a given flop texture.

Scale of Protection
Poker theorem which states that the more protected or strong an opponent's range is, the higher the degree of denial or retention a counter will require.

Sklansky Bucks
Dollars won (or lost) in expected value regardless of actual hand result.

Smurf
Any one of many possible poker archetypes found at low stakes games.

Squeeze
A reraise made after a player has raised and one or more players has called in-between.

Static Board
A flop texture in which the runout is unlikely to change the order of top ranking hands. Ex: AK7r, KK4r.

Stop-N-Go
A passive action followed by an aggressive action, out of position.  For example, a call followed by a lead on the next street.

Streets of Value
A crude shorthand measurement for how much betting a hand can tolerate and still be best at showdown more often than not.

TAG
Tight aggressive opponent type. Generally overused and misapplied.

TAG's Dilemma
The paradox created by having a top-heavy range played so aggressively that it misuses equity vis-à-vis position and holding.

The Great Range Fantasy
The common idea that we know our opponent’s range and frequencies precisely; most commonly seen in post-hoc analysis to justify microedge decisions.

Thin Value
A bet that is only slightly more likely to be called by worse than by better. Associated with the merged pricing construction and bet-fold lines.

Three Fundamentals
The most fundamental variables for decision making: position, stack size, and community cards.

Top
The best hands in a given range.

Two-Way Bet
A bet that expects calls from worse hands and incorrect folds at the same time, a simultaneous value bet and bluff line.

Upstuck
The psychological effect of feeling like you’re losing because your stack size isn’t as large as it once was during a session, even though it’s more than what you’re in the game for.

(e.g. You bought in for $100, ran it up $450, but now only have $175 in front of you.)

Unblock
A hand that has no negative card removal effects on the target range.  Bottom set, for example, unblocks top pair top kicker.

Uncapped
A range that is perceived to contain the nuts in any given line.  Capped ranges may become uncapped during transitions for example from preflop to flop, or flop to turn.

Unicorn
A turned nut straight after raising flop with a gutter.

Value Owning
Making value bets with a hand that has less than 50% equity when called.

Voluntarily Put Money In Pot (VPIP)
The frequency at which a player limps, calls, or raises preflop.

Volatile Board
A flop texture where equities will often shift on the turn and river.  See “dynamic”.

Warmer
An illusory cooler where one player makes a massive mistake equity mistake and loses his stack with a strong but second best hand; also known as a Jam Basket.

Wet Board
A board texture that allows for a lot of logical hands to continue. Often made up of medium rank connected cards. Ex: KT9tt, Tc8c6s-7c-Ac.

WIFSUWO
“Walk In, Fuck Shit Up, Walk Out” a hashtag used by instagram poker players.

Winning Player
A forum poster who offers reciprocal advice under the guise of questionable positive low stakes results. A weak player or fish, in general.

YMC
Young Man Coffee. Is very much an OMC, but younger.  They usually only continue with the nuts, often under the illusion of playing a GTO style.