The Rules of Chip Porn

The public distribution of Chip Pornography is not to be taken lightly. Breaking the basic rules is a big no-no, often involving damage to personal reputation and yielding severe self-esteem consequences. To help out readers of OOP, I will go through some basic Chip Porn Principles today.

  1. It must be said first that Chip Porn is primarily about winning. If you are in eight buy-ins and just got up to nine, this is not Chip Porn. This is Chip Therapy and should only be shared with loved ones..
  2. The rule for true, shareable chip stacks in cash games is that you must be up at least eight buy-ins at 100 bb capped games, or five standard buyins at larger or uncapped games. Yes, this is a high number, and uncapped rules are more open to interpretation than capped rules, but that’s what makes it worth salivating over.
  3. Limit Chip Porn is a subset and typically comes in two varieties: pure volume and/or art. Buy-ins are often excessive to the stakes played and the denominations small, therefore fantastic stack creations seem to excite these fellows the most.
  4. Yes, Dorothy, there is tournament Chip Porn, but it is a specialty fetish and not for everyone. All the values are inflated like a blow-up doll, and this demands consideration. The guidelines are as follows:
    1. You have to be in the money already, so that the stacks do have some dollar value.
    2. You must have over one hundred twenty big blinds, or an amount that means you can splooge it away by doubling up multiple average stacks and possibly still have the tournament lead. That’s an exciting place to be in, and might be worth sharing with your fellow tourney pervs.
  5. There are several mitigating factors that will enhance your Chip Porn photo, and allow you to bend some of the above rules:
    1. Comparison: Your picture includes views of much smaller stacks.
    2. Gloating: Your picture includes an unhappy player at the table staring at your stack.
    3. Ballerness: Your stack also includes cash which you are not converting into chips for the sake of space.
    4. Area and Volume: Your chips are not fitting into your assigned area of the felt; stacks which extend past the betting line or to eye level are given special consideration.
    5. Classiness: The room and table you are playing can affect the value of your Chip Porn. A big stack at the Monte Carlo is worth less than its equivalent at the Wynn.
    6. Lifestyle: Your picture includes an awesome drink like a Manhattan or a Greyhound or a whole bottle of a big name Champagne. Messy napkins from your chicken wings or a brimming cup of Sleepy Time tea devalues your Chip Porn.
  6. These rules are subject to change at any time. Post below with suggested amendments, concerns, and questions.

For the visually minded, this is a definitive shot of Chip Porn – from a great player and strong writer. (Source.)

Scansion Chip Porn

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