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The body was found in an alley. It was hard to look at and had not been reported quickly. Some were not sure of what they had seen.

After the life coach had been questioned, he fled or rather, attempted to flee. The lieutenant was an old hand, however, and had her officers stationed outside both his houses. The escape was too brief to be considered an escape and was not added to the charges. This was the second oddity that attracted my attention.

The trial was quick. Most were occupied with other affairs. I read about it later, of course, in the trade journals: my practice is swamped. Notably, the life coach, who called himself a performance expert, had testified on his own behalf. I noticed a particular passage regarding the victim:

He had won because he needed to win. He had not studied. He had not prepared. He had not focused. He was not eating a high protein diet. He did not know if he was playing a letter version of his game.

Or so the performance expert recited. It was a messy and incomprehensible allocution, a lecture and a confession. I mention that because at one point the performance expert called himself the victim’s confessor, which was the third oddity I noticed. The judge allowed the accused’s disquisition, in my opinion, because he had been bored, or possibly amused by such inane and unusual ramblings.

Which, in my opinion, is irresponsible and has led to an accidental slur upon all of us in the performance enhancing industry. It was here that I submitted my final report to the Elite Trainers of America and recommended that his registration as an Elite Trainer be decommissioned. Should he want to reclaim his status after serving his sentence for murder, he would have to retake the full three-week recertification course.

I had underlined this last directive, in case anyone was tempted to not take my conclusion as urgent.

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