Sauron’s Eye Finds Jake Littler, Middle-Earth Poker Coach and Bearer of the SEO Ring

jake littler coach and master marketer

Good morning, hope you’re having a day, it’s Jake Littler, author of your favorite endless series of poker tomes, including Remastering the Secrets of Excelling at Small-Stakes Strategies for NLHE!

(By the way, the video companion course for RSESSN, normally priced at $600 dollars, is now available for a limited time at $18!)

Of course, I’m also the head coach of heydumbythisisapokercoachingsite.com, and, as such, I have certain duties to perform. In addition to maintaining a roster of coaches who ran hot at tournaments, influencers who ran hot at hand history templates, coaxing a few experts willing to info dump, designing quizzes, ordering polo shirts, abusing content from streaming sources, and using my magic SEO ring to stay on top, I have to be in the social media streets, engaging people with competitive poker information.

For instance, I take a lot of tough stances that really make you think. Just consider my latest artisanal tweets:

In some amount of words or less, what determines a successful poker career, and which traits do you need to work on to be a successful poker careerist?

Boy that was a good one and made me think, too.

Position in poker is extremely powerful. Knowing which hands to play from each position will allow for fewer mistakes on later streets in that position. Which position do you struggle with playing the most from that position?

So, heady stuff, but all this merely brings us to why we are here today. Yesterday I carefully typed the following with my hairy index toes, really meditating on the value I want to bring to the community:

Most of you can become big winners in poker. However, your lack of discipline is holding you back.

When those notes and the thread which I created arrived at my brain, I crossed myself, looked to the Galadriel figurine affixed above my door, and thanked her – so much wisdom flowing! Consider:

Taking notes and tracking your progress gives full accountability.

Take breaks/Don’t play tired!

I’m hitting them all, all the notes the human ear can sustain. Yet later on at the party, how am I treated? Who shows up? Why Pickleball Sauron himself falls upon me and questions the value of my engagement tweet!

Me, a sweet middle-earther, rated by many as the “nicest guy in poker”! So, why? What? I stumbled back and reconsidered – but I don’t think I did anything wrong.

After all, I had even suggested, engagingly…

I want you to comment one thing you’re doing to build better habits in poker.

…then closed with some hobbit-speech, which I know many of you find cosy as elevensies:lil emojisTo the moon! Heh heh heh! I ask you, fair reader, what could be nicer and more engaging than that? I work so hard to say so little it can’t possibly be offensive! I’m always on brand and never personal or sincere: I’m a pro and you can expect professionalism from me. For instance, take my position on prepping for live play PERFECTLY:

You should plan in order to be prepared.

To prepare, plan. Nailed it again. Bold and true.

To win at poker, find a game you can beat.

Humbly, I don’t think Gandalph himself could tweet it better. Close thread, Slam Bam Sam Gamgee! So, you see, I’m out here, killing it, being nice, and yet this is how I am treated by Sauron? (He really does get involved everywhere, with that damn eye of his.) I respect him of course, and I certainly don’t want to play him heads up, but I’m not giving up the SEO Ring of Power. Sorry not sorry!

In fact, I’m frustrated and even a bit annoyed. What I focus on is giving to the community, so I create value and share more than I get in return. For instance, when I hastily threw together my first NFT collection in the midst of that lucrative bubble in order to sell coaching from heydumbythisisapokercoachingsite.com, what I was doing was providing value! My dedication to the plight of the Las Vegas homeless has always been a staple of my work and is a big theme in my blog and online presence; my essay on morality in poker and in dealing with the less fortunate was a big engagement hit. (My Elfin sword, Awareness-Bringer, is definitely good in promo spots like this.)

Speaking of, please consider buying my other NFT batch. I’m having a little trouble getting value to everyone in that space. So, Enjoy a Good Gamble…please? Please? It’s an investment and it’s art! Art! Art! Art! Art!

Enough of all this, here’s the rub: I know where all this is going, I wasn’t born forty years ago. If it’s true that people really do have to relearn poker once they leave my training site, what I’ve done is create value for guys like Sauron and the whole community! Yes, I know what I’m doing, so let him and his friends feast on weak players – that’s value, too, my dark Pickle Lord!

So why question me when the SEO ring, in the end, always serves its true master, the upper tiers of poker?

Stay in your lane, Sauron. Indeed, why should poker players complain when they see something untrue? No, this isn’t right: Pickleball Sauron would be praising my work, if he were consistent – why would someone instinctively react to a falsehood on the internet instead of thinking about the good of the whole scheme? 

SMH. I sure wouldn’t go off brand like that. So, unto you I say: Not today, Sauron! I’ve got my rings and bracelets and toys and I’m not giving them up! Middle-earth is a feudal economy but with free-market characteristics, as my old gaffer used to say.

Frankly, the army of hobbits who will spring to my defense lets me sleep and rest my feet all the better. Stand up for engagement fluff, good halflings! Drive Sauron from your lands! and see you all tomorrow on Second Breakfast with Jake Littler! We’ll be discussing the THREEEE BIG mistakes you make with top pair! The sun is shining, poker is easy, and all of you are special.

By the way, guys, have you tried Advanced Poker Training, which still creates passive income for me and other top coaches from 2009? Can you beat the Scotty Nguyen module? Wanna take on Scott “Danger” Clements, or even your humble servant? For only forty dollars a month, find out how we did it during the Third Age!

After that, check out my vid on the big bluff by Rampage! I mean he could be bluffing, or maybe not! I mean, I don’t know, I have no idea what to think, what would you do?

(Engagement points: me 2, Sauron 1. Got ’em!)

So, like and subscribe… just don’t go too far down that search page… no, you don’t want to know what shadows arise from the deep. The jealous and gold-sick dwarves may dig up monsters and throw shade, but I’m still here, still on top, always adding value… there and back again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

One thought on “Sauron’s Eye Finds Jake Littler, Middle-Earth Poker Coach and Bearer of the SEO Ring

  1. JLittler’s most common phrase: I like that bet/call/raise/fold. I don’t have to give you a reason, it’s enough that I like it.

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