Gargamel guest post

Gargamel’s Greatest Hits, Vol. I

Gargamel resurfaces in a fucking thoughtful mood – P.

I’m in the midst of a downswing and getting best handed a lot. Instead of writing about how I want to tear up the cards and flip the table, I figured this would be a good time to write about my favorite moments in poker. They’re in no particular order. Let’s roll…

Yeah, I Get Action
Most of the table consisted of the usual level 1 thinkers saying to themselves “derp, I hope I make the nuts so I can cold deck that Gargamel asshole”. There was one Asian player in his 20s or 30s though, who seemed to have some idea of what was going on. I opened JJ from early and got called in 3 spots, standard. The Asian player was 1 of the callers and we saw a flop of 983. I bet out and only he called. Turn was a low blank and I checked, expecting him to bet. He checked back though and I thought perhaps he had a pair that he decided not to protect. The river was another blank and I overbet shoved, thinking it would look very bluffy. This is where things got weird. He tanked, finally flipping up QJ high and telling the table he couldn’t believe he was considering calling. He paid me off and I wondered how I could ever bluff any of these clowns.

Keeping The Streak Alive
I was in the middle of what would be a twenty-two session winning streak, but here I was stuck $1000 in a $300 cap 2/5. There was hope though in the form of a tilt prone player we’ll call Urchin. He had a giant stack as he begins sessions well and stays solid for a while. One of the software kids pointed out his stack to me in amazement. I replied with “It’s not who dances with the girl, but who goes home with her”. I chipped up a bit then opened AK and Urchin called. The flop came 356, I c-bet and called Urchin’s check raise. A Q hit the turn and he checked so the gig was up. I put in a sweet value bet on the turn and he called. He then moved all in on the 5 river for my last $500. I made the call and got shown A4. His quiet implosion that followed was amazing and he wound up re-buying well after I left. A switch flipped and he moved in every other hand like he does in this state.

Delusion and Poker
It was a weekend of James Bond like run-outs. First, on a Friday night, our own Persuadeo opened AA early and got called by a tight Asian lady and a whale we call Colorado. The board came AK2. Persuadeo had flopped top set and the Asian lady bottom set. Colorado, though stuck around to drill his wheel gutshot on the turn with a 3. All the money went in. Colorado was sitting next to me and happily showed me his hand. River 3! Colorado stormed off telling Persuadeo he was “6% to win.”

The next night included the legendary Demented Dentist whale who I had never seen leave a game. He opened to 20, I called with QJdd, and it went multiway to AxKdTd. The dentist, myself, and another player got all the $ in. Ad turn and it was lights out. The whale had ATo and the 3rd player had TT. After the hand, Persuadeo made some comment about me hitting the river (WTF?) and to this day, the whale calls me River Gargamel. He left the room without re-buying again on this night.

Hit The Jackpot

smurfett with gargamel
BBJ, bitches! Who’s your Papa Smurf now?

One year I arrived late Christmas night at my parents’ place to find out that my grandmother passed away that day. She wasn’t exactly in good health, but it was still shocking. After watching my NFL team get blown out of the stadium by halftime the next night, I left to go play poker. This would normally be awful timing to put in a session. Early on I lost a limped pot with top 2 to AA and was close to tilting my balls off. Around 5am, I called an open with J9hh and got it in with the preflop raiser who fast rolled QQ on QhTh5. Q turn and 8h river! I was so out of it that I didn’t realize the jackpot possibility. All I thought was at least I’m unstuck. Then I was worried I would miss out because I didn’t have a player’s card. That didn’t matter and 2 hours and some free champagne later, I was paid someone’s salary for the year.

2k Per Session
For the first 7 months of this year, I put in a string of 2k winning sessions. I’d like to be able to say it was due to my lack of tilt, increased check raising in the right spots, increased over-betting, and less c-betting. The reality is that while that helped, the main thing is that I turned over the best fucking hand because these clowns insist on showdown. Check-raising in these multi-way pots has been quite fun though. As soon as I check, my opponents are like puppies who don’t know object permanence and I’ve vanished from the scene.

Persuadeo: Well, your massive first half of the year, crushing the $5 capped game scene was more than running well. How has your game changed, if it all, from say, the beginning of 2016 to here in late 2017?

Probably the main adjustment would be bet sizing.  I’ve been blasting and while my player pool does not have much of a pain threshold, they are willing to play blown up pots with weaker ranges. I would add that I don’t usually miss value and often get the max

Persuadeo: You’re a reluctant forum participant, but in fact you took on a student this year and also have helped d’Artagnan smooth out his game. What are your thoughts on helping others and coaching?

Live poker at the $5 blind level is very beatable provided you don’t run like death.  I have plenty of experience beating this level and navigating all the multi-way pots.  With the right commitment, I can help others eliminate their mistakes and get where they want to be.

Persuadeo: One thing people don’t know about you is you read a lot of poker books. Any recent favorites? Any concepts that you find intriguing?

The books I read this year were Hunter Cichy’s new one as well as Matthew Janda’s new one.  I could be wrong, but I think Janda wrote that if you aren’t getting folds (even if you have value hands) then that alone is a form of running bad.  So I learned that I’m always running bad!

Contact Gargamel for low-stakes NLHE coaching with an emphasis on a pragmatic, true TAG style and for inspirational abuse at g@gargamel_poker or smashingsmurfsatsno@gmail.com.

14 Comments

    1. I like money so I have to tread lightly with bluffs here. Unfortunately waiting around for AA and sets doesn’t get it done either.

  1. “As soon as I check, my opponents are like puppies who don’t know object permanence and I’ve vanished from the scene.”

    Ha! Great read.

  2. I’m not sure if you (Gargamel) and Persuadeo are way more creative with the nicknames, or if you just have far more characters per capita than I have in my room. A skill to work on, perhaps.

    Anyway, I enjoyed this post. Came for the smurf smashing and stayed for the smurf porn. Or was it the reverse?

  3. When we were moving up, it quickly became apparent the IDing players and communicating this quickly had real (and fun) value. Somewhere on a shared drive, now abandoned, is in fact an Excel sheet of fifty regs, all with nicknames and tendencies by street. The most useful nicknames, such as one that captures a quality of their play, such as Calling Smurf or Bdonk, stuck the most easily.

  4. Colorado stormed off telling Persuadeo he was “6% to win.”

    What a slap in the face. This guy doesn’t even think Persuadeo can fully realize his 15% equity when all in. Burned.

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The OOP Lexicon is a user-developed poker glossary.

Absolute Position
Being last to act (e.g. closest to the button) postflop.

Advancing Leverage
Aggressive actions intended to shift the leverage point closer to the current street.

Analog
A bluff or value hand which is a natural candidate for balancing another hand because of their shared qualities, such as AA and AK; usually helps planning range splitting and line construction.

Auto profit threshold (APT)
A bluff made with positive expectation resulting from the opponent under defending vis-a-vis bet sizing. The inverse of MDF.

Balance
Choosing to support either value bets or bluffs with their converse.

Bet
A bet is a proposition.  It’s the first offer on the pot with regard to the outcome of the game. Each player, in turn, has the opportunity to lay or change the price on the pot to the rest of the players. “The language of poker.” The bet, as opposed to the raise, is most often and most easily allied to the merged pricing construction.

Block
To remove combinations of hands from a range based on cards in your hand or on the board.

Blockers
Cards which influence our combinatorial assumptions. Ex: We face resistance on T76ss while we hold As7d. Both our cards act as blockers. Our ace of spades blocks (limits) a number of flush draws our opponent could hold, while our seven blocks a number of two pair and sets our opponent could hold. *See also Block and Unblock

Blocker Bet
A small bet made by an out-of-position player.

Board Texture
The available community cards and the set of conditions which inform its relationship to a logical range.

Bottom
The worst hands in a betting range.  Depending on context this could be the worst hand in a value bet range or the bluffing section of polarized range.

Bounded
A range descriptor indicating a range shape with a specific high or low boundary.  A range bounded high won't contain some number of the best linear hands ranked from the top down.  This is equivalent to a "capped" range.  A range bounded low won't contain some number of the worst linear hands ranked from the bottom up.  This is often useful to describe a range that doesn't include any air or very weak hands.

Capitalization
A strategic mode in which a player is attempting to deny their opponent(s) equity share of the pot through aggression. Often referred to as “denying equity” or “buying up equity”.

Capped
A range is capped when it represents little to no nutted combinations as confirmed by prior action.

Cbet
A continuation bet. A bet made by the player with initiative as a continuation of their initiative on a prior street.

Clarity
The ability to accurately range an opponent based on all available information at a decision point.  An understanding of your hands exact equity.

Closing Action
Acting last where no subsequent action is possible behind you.  For example calling a UTG raise in the BB or calling in position postflop with no players behind.

Cold Call/Cold Bet
An action is considered “cold” when it comes from a player entering into the pot has not previously put chips voluntarily in the pot. Ex: the UTG opens, the BTN 3bets. If the SB were to call or raise, it would be a cold-call or a cold-4bet.

Combinatorics
The branch of mathematics the deals with finite number sets. Used in poker in determining the amount of combinations of certain hands in a range.

Complete
When a blind that is not the biggest blind calls the amount of the biggest blind. Ex: At $2/$5, action folds around to the SB and the SB completes. Meaning they just call. The BB can complete when there is a straddle.

Condensed
A capped range that contains only middling value hands. A range without the polarized portion.

Construction
Logical advancement of combinations across streets.

Dark Side of the Deck
The large swath of hands, often off-suit, that fall outside of conventional playable recommendations. Counter-equity hands.

Dead Money
Money in the pot that is not being fought for.  A passive player creates dead money when they call a bet preflop and looking to play fit-or-fold postflop. Dead Money is often confused with the money in the pot.

Delayed Cbet
A cbet made on the turn by the preflop raiser when the flop checked through.

Delaying Leverage
Passive actions intended to maintain a likely late street leverage point, or possibly to avoid a leverage point entirely.

Deviation
A strategic break from one’s standard construction as an exploit of a particular player’s profile or construction.

Diminishing Medium Value Category
A Seidman concept in which when one’s middling value hand range is too small and transparent to our opponent and thus either that range should be shifted into the top of a polarized range or the nutted portion should be shifted into the medium value range. Ex: AQo or TT being 3bet preflop.

Downbet
A cbet that is less than the preflop raise. Ex: BTN opens to $25, we 3bet to $90 from the SB, BTN calls. On the flop we cbet $70.

Dry Board
A board texture that yields relatively few logical hands value. Often containing one medium or high card and disconnected low cards. Ex: Q53r, T622r.

Dual Mentalities
A Seidman concept in which when we decide to go postflop with a weak hand against a nutted range, we should either be looking to out flop it or steal the pot away. We base our decision against the player type we are up against and never go post with both mentalities at once.

Dynamic Board
A flop texture in which the runout is very likely to change the order of top ranking hands. Ex: 954tt, 742r.

Effective Stack
The smallest stack to VPIP in a given hand. Their stack decides the amount of money that can be played for or threatened before an all-in.

Effective nuts
A value hand that can be played for stacks as if it were the actual nuts.  This is a relative hand ranking based on range assumptions and opponent type.

Efficiency
A measure of how well the equity of a hand is deployed. Efficiency can also be used as a measure of what is risked vs what is gained for a given bet size.

Either/Or Philosophy
A Seidman concept in which a particular street can be a very good spot for value, meaning our opponent is never folding, or a very good spot to bluff, meaning our opponent is never calling, but that those spots cannot be concurrent.

Elasticity
Borrowed from economics, a measure of the sensitivity of a range or hand relative to the price offered.  Ranges (or hands) described as elastic will narrow, sometimes quickly, in response to increases in price.  Those described as inelastic will not.

Equity
The percent pot share of a holding or range on any given street if the hand were to go to showdown with no further betting action.

Equity Pusher
A analytic approach to the game in which a player views the correct actions only through the lens of their hands equity vs. their opponent’s range. Often this player type has a lack of understanding of overall strategy and plays their range face up with few bluffs.

Expected Value
The mathematical formula for how much a player’s action is expected to make with their hand vs. their opponent’s range. EV = ($towin * %ofwin) - ($tolose * %ofloss)

Face Up
A player is playing their range “face up” when their actions directly correspond with their desired outcome. Ex: A player bets half-pot three streets with a range that has no bluffs. A player 3bets to 7x with JJ.

False Polarization
Otherwise known as Faux-Po; a polarizing action taken with a merged range.

Felted
The result of losing your entire table stakes. All the way down to the felt.

Float
A call of a cbet with a weak holding with the likely intention of taking the pot away when the opponent shuts down. Often done by an in position preflop caller.

Formation
The convergence of positions, stack depths, and preceding actions at a given decision point.

G-Bucks
A mathematical formula developed by Phil Galfond for calculating the expected value of one’s range construction vs. an opponent’s holding.

GIGO
A computer programming term that means "garbage in, garbage out" which also applies to poker forums when a poster seeks an in-depth conversation about a hand, but fail to provide pertinent information such as stack sizes, bets sizes, table dynamics and player tendencies.

Game Theory
The applied science of combining mathematical models with logic to craft winning poker strategies.

Game Theory Optimal
A set of strategies is GTO if no player can unilaterally deviate and increase his average profit. ~ Will Tipton.  GTO does not mean best possible response, highest EV, or maximally exploitative play.

Implied Odds
Additional value likely to be accrued if you make your hand on a later street.

Initiative
Sometimes referred to as the betting lead, a common situation in which the passive player yields to the aggressive player postflop, or the last aggressor continues betting on subsequent streets.

Isolate
A bet or raise intended to force out the rest of the field in order to play heads up against a weaker opponent who has entered the pot through limping, raising, or posting the blinds.

LAG
Loose aggressive player type. Generally overused and inaccurate.

Lead
A bet made from out of position after a passive action. Often referred to as a donk bet on the flop.

Leveling
He knows that I know that he knows I know.

Leverage
A bet or raise that signals the hand will be played for stacks.  Within reason, it is accomplished by betting with a sizing that will create RSP equal to 1 on the following street.

LFI
Limp First In

Linear
A consecutive range of hands decreasing in strength from top to bottom; generally meaning value hands. Equivalent to "merged."

Lockdown Board
A board on which the nuts have often already been made.  More prevalent in PLO but sometimes useful in no-limit, for example on monotone flops and boards with available common straights e.g. JT9, T98, 987, etc.

Merge
1) A range of hands that includes both strong and medium value; 2) in reference to medium value; 3) the merged construction describes the natural representation of a wide range through a bet.

Mini Stop-N-Go
A Seidman concept, a line taken by a OOP PFR where flop is check/called and turn is lead.

Minimum Defense Frequency (MDF)
The necessary defending (calling/raising) frequency to prevent an opponent from auto-profiting.  The inverse of APT.

Natural Action
A check, bet, or raise which is exactly suited to a player's range and situation (e.g. a pfr's continuation bet on AK2r).

Nit
A player who will not put chips into the pot without a very strong and sometimes only nutted hand.

Nuts
The best possible hand.

Nuts-To-Air Ratio (NAR)
In a polarized betting line, the ratio of value to bluff.  As used by Seidman, not limited to polarization but sometimes used to label general opponent tendency of value to bluff.

OMC
Old Man Coffee. Typically an older, retired player that likes to play bingo with ATC, but will only continue with the nuts.

Open
The first voluntary action. The first action or bet to voluntarily enter the pot.

Overbet
A bet that is more than the size of the pot.

Perceived Range
Refers to the range of hands that your opponent thinks you could have in a certain playing situation. This can be interpreted and thus misinterpreted from your playing style and position at the table.

Polarized
A range consisting of very strong and very weak hands.

Post Oak Bluff
A small bluff on a late street that has little chance of winning the pot.  Generally interpreted as “gutless” in the past but now fulfilling certain functions as betting efficiencies are understood.

Positional Protection
When the strength of a range is perceived to be capped or uncapped based on which position an action is taken from.

Protected
When an action or player is perceived to have strong hands in its range.

Protection Bet
A wager which denies equity to hands which will only give action if they significantly improve; "a value bet which does not want a call."

Raise
The rejection of the offered price and the laying of a new higher price.  Raises represent a more narrow range of hands and trend towards polarization.

Range Advantage
Implementation or study tool that refers to 1) most basically, equity measurement of one range against another; 2) or also including a combination of further factors including availability of nutted hands, the nuances of the runout, and positional protection.

Range Manipulation
Deliberate line work/bet sizing made to narrow a range or keep a range wide.

Range Switch
A deliberate change in range composition made to thwart a player who is reading our range too accurately in any spot.  Reduces transparency, fights assumptions, and wins the leveling war if implemented correctly.

Ratio of Stack To Pot
RSP. The stack to pot ratio at any point in a hand, generally used post-flop as opposed to Stack to Pot Ratio.

Realization
Taking a hand to showdown and realizing its full equity.  Generally used with regard to passive actions.

Reciprocity
The mutual exchange of chips resulting from similar play and ideas.  Reciprocity is a common bi-product of group-think.  A true edge by definition cannot be reciprocal.

Relative Position
A player’s position measured against the aggressor's position.  Generally this is used going to the flop.  For example, if UTG raises and several players call behind, calling in the big blind would give you the best relative position.  You will act after seeing how the field responds to a likely continuation from the preflop aggressor.  In the same scenario calling immediately after the preflop aggressor results in the worst relative position.  You will have to act immediately after a continuation without seeing how the remaining players will respond.  Strong relative position confers an information edge.

Retention
The ability of hand to maintain equity across streets against a betting range or as part of a betting range.

Reverse Implied Odds (RIO)
Hands that often win small pots or lose large pots suffer from reverse implied odds.

Robustness
Popularized by Mathew Janda, a descriptor for how well a hand retains equity over streets of play.  Hands described as robust have equity that does not suffer as an opponent's range becomes stronger.  Often these hands are currently both strong and invulnerable, or have the ability to become very strong by the river, relative to the opponent's range.

Runout
Fourth and Fifth Street cards following a given flop texture.

Scale of Protection
Poker theorem which states that the more protected or strong an opponent's range is, the higher the degree of denial or retention a counter will require.

Sklansky Bucks
Dollars won (or lost) in expected value regardless of actual hand result.

Smurf
Any one of many possible poker archetypes found at low stakes games.

Squeeze
A reraise made after a player has raised and one or more players has called in-between.

Static Board
A flop texture in which the runout is unlikely to change the order of top ranking hands. Ex: AK7r, KK4r.

Stop-N-Go
A passive action followed by an aggressive action, out of position.  For example, a call followed by a lead on the next street.

Streets of Value
A crude shorthand measurement for how much betting a hand can tolerate and still be best at showdown more often than not.

TAG
Tight aggressive opponent type. Generally overused and misapplied.

TAG's Dilemma
The paradox created by having a top-heavy range played so aggressively that it misuses equity vis-à-vis position and holding.

The Great Range Fantasy
The common idea that we know our opponent’s range and frequencies precisely; most commonly seen in post-hoc analysis to justify microedge decisions.

Thin Value
A bet that is only slightly more likely to be called by worse than by better. Associated with the merged pricing construction and bet-fold lines.

Three Fundamentals
The most fundamental variables for decision making: position, stack size, and community cards.

Top
The best hands in a given range.

Two-Way Bet
A bet that expects calls from worse hands and incorrect folds at the same time, a simultaneous value bet and bluff line.

Upstuck
The psychological effect of feeling like you’re losing because your stack size isn’t as large as it once was during a session, even though it’s more than what you’re in the game for.

(e.g. You bought in for $100, ran it up $450, but now only have $175 in front of you.)

Unblock
A hand that has no negative card removal effects on the target range.  Bottom set, for example, unblocks top pair top kicker.

Uncapped
A range that is perceived to contain the nuts in any given line.  Capped ranges may become uncapped during transitions for example from preflop to flop, or flop to turn.

Unicorn
A turned nut straight after raising flop with a gutter.

Value Owning
Making value bets with a hand that has less than 50% equity when called.

Voluntarily Put Money In Pot (VPIP)
The frequency at which a player limps, calls, or raises preflop.

Volatile Board
A flop texture where equities will often shift on the turn and river.  See “dynamic”.

Warmer
An illusory cooler where one player makes a massive mistake equity mistake and loses his stack with a strong but second best hand; also known as a Jam Basket.

Wet Board
A board texture that allows for a lot of logical hands to continue. Often made up of medium rank connected cards. Ex: KT9tt, Tc8c6s-7c-Ac.

WIFSUWO
“Walk In, Fuck Shit Up, Walk Out” a hashtag used by instagram poker players.

Winning Player
A forum poster who offers reciprocal advice under the guise of questionable positive low stakes results. A weak player or fish, in general.

YMC
Young Man Coffee. Is very much an OMC, but younger.  They usually only continue with the nuts, often under the illusion of playing a GTO style.