Dear Poker Dad: Twitching and Passing

Editor’s note: after a successful stay in Memory Care, Poker Dad still needs things to do.


Dear Poker Dad,

I’ve been streaming for a long time but don’t have an audience. Should I follow my streaming passion or do something else?

Tossed on Twitch

Dear TOT,

I’m sure surfing or whatever you mean is really good for you and your health, so keep streaming! Remember to stretch, though. I recently went to bed without stretching and woke up with basically my entire back out. These things can be prevented, is my belief, together with juicing and prostate massage.


Dear Poker Dad,

I’ve been running bad lately so I’m wondering if short stacking is a good answer.

Risk Less?

Dear RL,

Short stacking is like sitting in front of the bus. It’s real easy when you’re tired but eventually a goddamned old person comes on and you have to move to the back like the rest of us. When Chris left the car behind and we took the bus, I said, why? I don’t mind the back seat, this is the nineties.


Dear Poker Dad,

So far my presenting as a female has worked at the poker table, but is a bit disappointing. What can I do to get more attention and shine a light on my difficulties?

Passing Too Well

Dear PTW,

At the poker table we don’t want attention! That said, I feel your pain, because I had a friend in the service who just couldn’t get the discharge he wanted, so he acted out crazily. That’s when the Rowboat Milk Klub beat the tight pants off him and I was sworn to secrecy by the ringleader who later somehow asphyxiated all alone in a climate-friendly steamhouse. Suspicious. Honestly, no more hand jobs for me – no matter who you say you know in the nurses’ lounge.


Dear Poker Dad,

Late position play, especially buttons play, is not easy for me. There are so many combos to memorize. How do you handle it?

Overwhelmed in Austin

Dear OIA,

Don’t get me started on memorizing stuff! I have lists and lists about lists. None of it really worked. I asked Chris where we are going but he was very impatient – I may have asked him one or sixteen times before. The sirens are confusing, but that’s war. There you are in your bunk with your bunkmates and then suddenly you are putting your clothes on in the middle of a deep dive looking for Ivan and praying it’s just another drill where there is a new Soviet sub with a special quiet propeller.


Dear Poker Dad,

I have been playing on stake but my backer wants to change the terms. I’m afraid of breaking the contract and getting blackballed, but I really can’t see moving forward. What to do?

Quit and Split?

Dear QAS,

All you have in poker is your name. Stand up for yourself and quit. Tell everyone your story, they won’t let him blackball you. Of course, I know someone who they did blackball for not paying his debts, and it was brutal. They took my brother into a cornfield and beat us both until we were mangled and dead.  I wouldn’t want to risk my access to money unless I knew for sure I was making the right choice. So don’t worry, just move forward. Make that deal work! I really am not sure about this taxi, there is no license and we used a bus to get to the new car. The driver looks little like my son!

I’m going to tell him. Life is a journey, QAS.


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