Category: Culture

Every community is different – culture exists, or I should say is a thing, for you online poker players. However, the rules governing voluntary communities are always the same. (It’s always Tolstoy, innit.) One rule of every community is that the moth is always drawn to the flame. Poker, in other words, attracts the vast majority of its adherents not from people who are good at what […]

You’re 300,468 from the money in the combined superfinal tournament championship satellite put on by WSOPGG88CHATGPISKYNET, you have AK in the BB facing a jam with three blinds left. Losers are gravitationally compressed to a string of information in the form of non-binary characters and inserted into a strand of the Phil Hellmuth Foreverbot’s ear hair where they listen* and vibrate whenever he praises himself; at that […]

Hallo! I’m Gruppencardführer Karl Von Bahdbiett, your friendly Nationalsozialiste card coach! In an effort to more distinctly separate myself from the competition, I want to make sure we’re all clear on what National Socialism is! –The rise of our Nationalsocialism starts in the Great War (of course, aren’t they all great) and the stab in the back that kept our great German Volk from winning it. We […]

The Global Poker Awards have become a somewhat regular thing and look likely to become a fixed feature of the poker world. While there is much to celebrate if the spotlight finds you, it seems another reaction is to both downplay and even disparage the awards while simultaneously longing for their recognition. For what it’s worth, I see a lot more of the latter this year than […]

What is up, fellow players of poker, it’s me, your favorite thumbnail creator and opinion recycler! While I was perusing my favorite content, such as Joey’s vlogs, Andrew Tate’s Kitchen, Crypto Erection Weekly, well-timed photographs of tournament athletes, and those amazing articles on vegasonlineslotsworld so I could vote for the GPI awards, I was saddened to see a terrible prank being pulled on a physically challenged gentleman […]

Lately a poker player announced that she was deeply distraught and thinking of ending her life. She didn’t follow up with this; meanwhile, there were the usual motions of distress within her social media reach, and even castigation of her when she resurfaced. How dare you worry us, et cetera, in addition to the more typical we know all about how you should react to pain. I […]

It’s an open secret that only a select number of highly skilled and simultaneously sun-running players will make anything of a life playing live poker tournaments. It is all the more perilous for United States citizens, where income tax nullifies the advantage of real opportunities and a legitimate touring sequence. However, tournaments aren’t necessarily about you or I. Tournaments and tours are about the spectacle and the […]

I’m only going to comment on this one time and move on. I expect obedience from all my incels. Now, for us in the impostor porn community – both we content creators and you viewers – I will have my assistant write up an official apology or whatever, which you will be both dumb and weak enough to accept. Frankly, these twenty-four hours have been a drain […]

The dumb money follows an idea out of the overwhelming desire for it to be true.  Last night, that was me. It was brutal. Worse, it felt inevitable, outside my control. After months of winning, I had returned to Vegas overconfident and unprepared, ready only to give it away. They bluff me out and then they get value from me.  I’d ask what’s going on, but that […]